Pizza Club Meeting III

Within these pages lies the recap of the Third meeting of Pizza Club, on the day of our Lord (pizza), April the Twenty Second.

The day started off heavy with anticipation. Some things may have happened before Pizza Club, the only one of any importance was the acquizition of several large cardboard containers which contained a nearly unlimited amount of cold bottles, and well. They kept the bevy of adult beverages safe, safe and sound.

There were some surprises in the promptitude of members, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Up first were the Lord and Lady of Canham, I thought their arrival was tasteful, but did they really need six trumpets? After that was Philtheo, Plunderer of Purity, who was, I should say STRANGELY on time. Next on the scene was newest member, Schulte, he had a supremely understated entrance, as is his style. Last to arrive, waylayed due to previous engagements, were Mister and Misses Kristi Dezek. The community was introduced, new members were initiated, and a small dance ensued. The time was upon us to dine, so we corralled our caravan and continued to carry out our calling.

Fat Lorenzo’s was the destination, and we made our way post haste, as quite a few among us were famished. We were delayed at the entrance, but it did offer some time to snap a few pictures of our purpose. Our wait wasn’t long, no where near the ten to fifteen minutes that Fat Lorenzo’s and I had communicated on a prior exchange, but we all knew what was in store. I wouldn’t say we were happy to wait, but every journey has sacrifices. It was at this point that we recieved the first bad news that Pizza Club had ever been faced with. Eight was our number, and four was the maximum seating they could offer us at any given time. They apparently weren’t ready to tear up booths from the ground to make this Club happy. In any event, straws were drawn, three of them short, to Erica, Schulte, and myself; fate forced us to sit with Philtheo. At this point one journey turned into two, as the booths were rather inclusive, and things happened at the other booth that I was not privy to. As follows is the happenings of what will herein be referred to as Booth 1.

–The Story of Booth One–

Booth One was born of turmoil, and borders were soon drawn. Philtheoland and the unnamed Land of Schulte in the North shared something from the beginning. They shared a severe hatred for the South, and the lands of Ericaverse and Testicleseopolis. These lands came together soon and put in an order for more adult beverages, and an order of a garlic type bread with cheese melted on top, and paired with a small plastic container of marinara sauce, presumably for the dipping. This was the first thing that brought the four nations together, as the bread landed in international waters. Sharing occured at a Third Grade rate, with only a little grabby played, and minor favoritism. This was overlooked due to the generally agreed EXTREME hunger being felt by all. It had been a long winter without food.

There was during this time, and occasionally through the evening, communication with Booth Two. The table was equipped with a paper table covering, and crayons were used to scribe proposed deals. One of which was an attempt to trade one Testiclese for some pizza. Returned with veracity was the result, that Booth Two felt that Testiclese was not worth the crayon in which that message had been written. Clearly their loss, as Testiclese was creating a dynasty of deliciousness in his home country of Testicleseopolis. During the dealings, there was a meeting of the four nations, and an order was made with the bringer of Pizza. The decision was a medium pepperoni, classic in every way, and a large Fat’s Combo. The abundance of sustenance once again brought the four nations together, this time seemingly for good.

Clearly a celebratory time in Booth One. The battles were over, the food was had, and it seemed the evening was a success. No one knew how far this Pizza Club would go, however, and some had endurance more than others. While Booth One cleared out almost two entire pizzas, Booth Two barely finished fifty percent of their take. I’m not calling anyone out, but you start something, you should at least TRY to finish it. We finished our beverages, and our business, and packed everyone up and planned to return to the Clubhouse. Forced again in a car with Philtheo, Scooter manned the wheels, and we decided to win the race home. I was happy to be wearing plastic pants, as a purported shortcut was shot down by a closed road, and our glimpse of victory scampered out of site, under a log, and dipped into the swamp that we drove past.

We made our way to the Clubhouse, and Scooter narrowly avoided a ticket, and a beatdown, for endagering our lives at every turn. His thirst for competition is never sated. By the miracle of Pizza Club, everyone arrived safely, and we entered for more entertainment, beverages, and many more good times. The evening went on, games were played, to which I am certain Scooter cheated, and Philtheo should have. One more was added to the numbers of our Club, Miss Desiree joined in the merriment. Plenty of beverages were passed around, and the numbers began to thin out. Everyone had legitimate reasons for leaving, with the exception of Philtheo, who was somehow defeated by cats. An investigation has been started, and answers will be known soon. At the end there were two, myself and Schulte. It was a valiant effort, but the weight of Pizza falls heavy, and weighted stomachs make for heavy but happy eyelids. The current record for length of Pizza Club stands somewhere in the area of two hours and thirty minutes into the next day, but this Club did not find itself too many minutes into the next day.

All in all, Pizza Club was once again a success, though, with such a mission, having a Pizza Club fail is nearly impossible. The requirements for failure would be so galactic that not only would the Club be ruined, certainly Earth itself would be shook to the core. Let us speak no more of that.

Exit polls for Pizza Club were as follows:

  • Hungry: 0%
  • Happy: 100%
  • Looking forward to the next Pizza Club: 100%

Questions/Comments/Concerns, send correspondence to: pizzaclubownzyou@pizza-club.com

  9 comments for “Pizza Club Meeting III

  1. April 27, 2006 at 12:15 pm

    Amazing is all I can say. Reading the post made me feel as if I was there with you guys on that fateful evening.

  2. April 27, 2006 at 12:15 pm

    Oh, and please take down that picture of me being there with you guys. It’s like staring at the wrong end of a rhino.

  3. April 27, 2006 at 12:21 pm

    Not a chance, Pizza Club recaps are written in stone. WE WILL NOT BACK DOWN.
    PS: I had a great time, *wink*

  4. April 27, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    Philtheo, contact me and we will work out an arrangement whereby in exchange for a fairly large amount of currency I will `rm 04-22-06_1854.jpg` and replace it with an image of your choice.

    The Club meeting went exactly as Testiclese proclaimed. He did leave out one important detail: the table across the way did not appreciate of our zestful energy and love of the pizza. They offered several looks of rageful disgust before abruptly leaving.

  5. April 27, 2006 at 1:07 pm

    Twice I think.
    I prefer to focus on the positive though.
    Also, if any member of Booth Two would be so inclined, please let us know how that part of the evening went, as it was as if you were in a distant land.

  6. Erica
    April 28, 2006 at 8:36 am

    It was, in fact, a good time. The minor fued between philtheopolis and ericaverse was ended with peace, flowers and unicorns by the end of the evening. And we hugged. And it was good.

    I did feel sad that we had to split tables. Next time hopefully we can be seated together.

    And, anothe correction, I offered to sell Testicles to the other booth for $1,000,000. And THEN they said he wasn’t worth the paper and crayons the note was wrote on!

  7. April 28, 2006 at 9:04 am

    Booth Two was betrayed by Booth One! In an exchange of crayons a certain deal was made that was to ensure the end of ericaverse by philtheoposucksalot. But in returning later to see how the war was waging, Booth Two learned of the wretched betrayal. I spit on thee!

  8. April 28, 2006 at 9:12 am

    I believe you get what you deserve when you attempt to destroy the fidelity of Booth One. Booth One stands together, unless there’s only one piece of pizza left.

  9. April 28, 2006 at 9:26 am

    The nations of the isle across the aisle were pretty crabby. So crabby in fact that I had to dedicate an entire city-town-ville-burough-number-5 to them.

    Also, you don’t have to worry about a ‘rm 04-22-06_1854.jpg’, Schulte, I’d rather execute the ‘eat pzza_peprni_grnoliv.mmmmmm’ command.

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