I’ll Never Know What You Find When You Open Up Your Pizza Box Tomorrow

Well we did it. We went in, got a bunch of boxes, and got out. We traveled through cake eater territory, and made it out alive. What follows are the experiences that followed.

It seemed like there were nine boxes, all stacked up, filling the front passenger seat. I squirmed in underneath, and held my breath. The windows fogged up almost immediately, visibility was down to nil. I think I passed out during the trip back, but there was the faint sound of Italian music when I woke up at home.

We learned some things at Pizza Club this time, things that we’d like to share with everyone. The establishment which fulfilled our take out order, was called Broder’s. You may have heard of it, it’s near the center of Cakeeateropolis. We ordered four different Pizzas, three fancy pants specialty Pizzas with vegetables and other nonsense, and one classic pepperoni and sausage. I believe eating them at the restaurant would have increased the pleasure of the Pizza, as it had cooled some by the time it arrived home. The fact however, is this: We ordered pepperoni and sausage, and we got pepperoni and hamburger. The pepperoni was too thick, and the hamburger was just that, ground meat with no spice. This is unacceptable by the means of ANY club, Pizza or otherwise.

It’s possible that my loathing of the Cake Eater experience sullied an otherwise average Pizza consuming event, but I felt like this was the worst showing of any of the Pizza establishments that we’d visited. Soggy crust, cake eater toppings, and hamburger instead of sausage. Fortunately for everyone involved, there were adult beverages in abundance, so the lacking quality of the Pizza was soon the last on everyone’s list.

Of course there was Guitar Hero. Of course most people sucked at it. Adro and I put down some tasty jams, but there was some serious lack of effort from Philtheo and Scooter. They’re just not creative though, and when they’d play, their fingers looked like they jammed them in a food processor.

After the Pizza, we were drunk enough to play a game of Adro’s suggestion, though it was not “Who’s in my mouth.” It perhaps had a name, and it may have been called Mafia, or Townspeople, or “Here’s a card and shut your face.” Feel free to look it up. I had the privilege of being killed either first or second, in nearly every game. There was one round in which one of the Members, perhaps had a little too much to drink, and upon being requested to open their eyes a few times, giggled and said, “I DID OPEN MY EYES.” Sadly, they weren’t killed in the first round.

All in all, the Pizza was lackluster, and some would say, bad. Fortunately, the Club pulled through, and I believe everyone went home satisfied.

We’d like to welcome one of the newcomers, Matt, aka Matty, aka Trixie.

Pizza Club Minutes:

(some time): beer, wine, Guitar Hero

(some other time): beer, wine, Pizza

(later): beer, wine, Mafia

  12 comments for “I’ll Never Know What You Find When You Open Up Your Pizza Box Tomorrow

  1. Adro
    November 28, 2006 at 1:42 pm

    Well said, sir. Boo to the fufu pizza!

  2. Philtheo
    November 28, 2006 at 1:46 pm

    I agree with the chief. It is sad that the giggly Mafia member was not killed in the first round. I may have had something to do with that, but she (or he, just to keep up the mystery of who it was) had a very strong “nice ass” defense.

    As far as the pizza goes, I also agree with the boss. It was not amazing, and when you go into Cakeeateratoria, you expect fine cuisine. Of course, now I realize why they’re called “Cake Eaters” and not “Pizza Eaters”. The beer was good, although I didn’t have nearly enough. I thought I was having an attack due to the cats, but it turns out that I became extremely ill and was down and out the whole next week. I blame the pizza and wonder where the nice ass was to return the favor and help me feel better. I also realized why I received so many text messages and calls. Apparently some douche bag was messing with the person and she thought it was me. I believe the same douche bag was also responsible for the lack of dirty Smasher text messages. I’ll see what I can work out for next time to entertain those of us who have no interest in Guitar Hero, but things aren’t looking so good. I’ll try to find someone else to harass to give people something else to make fun of me for.

    All in all, the night started off well with everyone fixated on Matty’s love of mashed up veggies and me sitting back and enjoying the non-attention. Then somehow everyone remembered I was in the room. Just another day in the life of Pizza Club.

    For the next meeting, I suggest no fancy places. We need to redeem that last fiasco, and also never listen to Scooter again.

  3. Adro
    November 28, 2006 at 1:47 pm

    I need company…gorgeous company!

  4. Randi
    November 28, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    I liked the artichoke pizza, though it would have been better fresh from the oven. The beer must have helped with the pepperoni/hamburger pizza, I didn’t know until reading TJ’s post that it was hamburger instead of sausage. Oh well, good times were had by all.

  5. Randi
    November 29, 2006 at 10:19 am

    Just a thought: the original title would have been really funny if it read “I’ll never know what you find when you open up your box tomorrow.” (It says ‘box’ LOL.)

  6. Philtheo
    November 29, 2006 at 11:56 am

    The correct response to both titles is “Phil.”

  7. Erica
    December 1, 2006 at 8:26 am

    I generally liked the pizza. I think the problem was that it was not hot and fresh like it would be at the actual place. So I’m not entirely ready to dismiss Scooter completely. Just partially.

    My favorite part of the evening was Matty and the babyfood. Really. I almost cried.

    In addition, this “alleged” drunk “person” probably already opened his or her eyes and still has a “nice ass” no matter what way you cut it. Isn’t wine great?

    So.. what shall we do for the month of december? It’ll probably be a hard month to make a date for…

  8. Randi
    December 1, 2006 at 1:08 pm

    Does it have to be on a weekend? If not, that opens up more dates. For weekends Friday Dec. 8th works for me. December sure fills up fast.

  9. Erica
    December 4, 2006 at 9:29 am

    Maybe we forego December? And regroup in Jan?

  10. Adro
    December 4, 2006 at 9:43 am

    Oh lord no. THE PIZZA CLUB MUST GO ON.

    There are still several possibilities, including (for me) the 8th, 15th, 29th and 30th.

  11. Philtheo
    December 4, 2006 at 10:35 am

    The 8th works for me. If we skip Pizza Club in December, I may die…you may think that sounds good right now, but its one of those things that years down the line you’ll realize you need me to open a jar of pickles or something and you’ll be screwed.

  12. Sarah & Pete
    December 5, 2006 at 9:35 am

    I know that as pizza club first timers, Pete and I are completely flexible. Which isn’t something you can say about first timers in OTHER areas. I know the 8th works for us.

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