Happy Birthday, dickhead.

You’re one year older, one year wiser,
Rock ‘n’ roll star, king, czar, and a kaiser,
A room full of friends, a mouth full of cake,
Every present is for you, and it feels pretty great,
You’re the man of the hour, the VIP,
You get the first slice, of the PIE,
But first blow out the candles, and make a wish
Put a smile on, cause it’s your berfday, bitch!

-Hesh, Sealab 2021

  5 comments for “Happy Birthday, dickhead.

  1. Philtheo
    August 22, 2006 at 8:08 am

    Deep within the womb of time,
    a creature thus be born.
    The seed of life is united with,
    the egg of tyranny.
    Gestates forth from within the womb of life,
    for three-quarter and nigh a year.
    The creature thus be born!
    The creature thus be formed!
    And ye of years…
    [Your current age bells]
    Will chime!
    When the heavens open up,
    and drink from the silver cup.
    The creature thus be born!
    And blow the magic horn!
    To alert the spirit deep within the cycle of life.
    The creature has begun it’s journey deep forlorn,
    upon this day which he be formed.
    In the sea of mucus the spirit rides down from the mountain,
    and unites with the creature in the womb.
    A holy union, dark mortality, until the dark mortality
    breaks the chain of life.
    The creature thus be born.
    And every year raineth down the celebratory tears,
    A celebration of the years,
    from mere mortal sky.

    – Master Shake, as performed by Geddy Lee and Zakk Wylde, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

  2. August 22, 2006 at 8:24 am

    Classic. Classic and fantastic.

  3. Erica
    August 22, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    Piece of the PIZZA PIE!

  4. Christopher Schulte
    August 22, 2006 at 3:45 pm

    Happy birthday!

    I automatically skipped past the stuff Phil wrote (reflex, really, I don’t mean to be a jerk to him), did I miss anything worthwhile? If so, please repost it (but don’t put the p— word in your post or I might instinctively skip it again).

  5. Christopher Schulte
    August 22, 2006 at 3:48 pm

    Oh, wait, um… I’m not sure who I just wished happy birthday to, but whoever it is, I hope you have a good one.

    PS: mushrooms and olives are both horrid, but there’s no ‘both these are horrid’ option on the poll. Please fix.

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