No-Thanks to Tom Hanks (DaVinci Code SPOILERS)

I saw the DaVinci Code last night. This movie got 0 out of a possible 5 slices, for lacking all pizza-related content and/or on-screen consumption. Hey, Tom Hanks- Guess what? I bet Jesus fucking loves pizza, man. So what the shit, homey? I bet when you were trapped on that desert island you’d have sucker-punched your mom for a slice of pepperoni. Or when the kingpin grabbed your junk in that jail cell, remember how violated you felt? Yeah, well, it would have been A-OK if that shit had been precursored by some Rocky Rococos.

My point is, your life would be so much better with some tasty pizza goodness. So next time you’re running around paris looking for the holy vagina, how about you slow your roll, stop in to “le sbarro” and then maybe you’ll get to bang Jesus’ hottie grand-daughter.

That is all.

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